How I Keep the Dead Alive

Snuggling with Luna the day before she passed.

I used to go to the local zoo when they housed Bison. I have a special affinity for the buffalo and would sit with them, sharing the day. I spent time telling them stories about their ancestors. I told them about the giant aurochs and the time of the mammoths.

"Your ancestors were giants," I whispered.

When it is quiet at night and my tiny tuxedo cat Mara is curled in my lap, I tell her stories of the furry sisters she never knew. I tell her about Luna's moth hunting skills and how she once drained milk out of a cup without knocking it over or off the side table. I tell her about how Bella had vision problems and lived under the bed for eight years. I tell her about how Bella concussed herself twice slamming head-first into furniture. I tell her how Zami was kinder before her two younger sisters died. I tell Mara that Zami, known at 22 as Crazy Grams, would miss her if she died first.

And then we talk about how she's going to live a very long life.

But no one lives forever. I have a list of loved loves lost to time, some recently inked in. And we miss them forever. We ever get over the loss. We're not meant to. We miss them forever. It just hurts less as time passes. We add more to our life stories and some experiences begin to fill in the cracks.

We become repaired, healing things, more beautiful for the new joys.

When I am feeling insecure I talk out loud to my Great-Grandma Elsie. She used to make sure I knew that I was fine just the way I was. In fact she loved me for it. She would try to explain why people treated me the way they did. She gave me their perspective while affirming that I had a right to be hurt. So I talk to her and I smell her in the room and I feel her sitting beside me.

When I am lost I talk to my Grandpa Dick. He was beloved, the only Grandpa present in my life. He had a way of telling me how reality was while not making me feel wrong. He could help me break down a situation and logically show me where I misunderstood. And I would know I had to apologize, and he would squeeze my hand with pride. And then he would tell me he was sorry I had felt hurt. And he would set his mouth and look at me and I always felt like he really understood.

I was in the room when he died. I felt him leave. But I talk to him still. I ask him for guidance, for help in knowing what the right direction is... and I smell the inside of his Cadillac and I feel like no matter what choice I make, he's along for the ride with me. I'm not alone.

I share the stories of my beloveds. It's how I keep the dead alive.

Grandpa Dick and me during  family generational photo, around '87.

The Mothers That Bore Me

Whitcher sisters Ellen, Harriet, Emma*, & Frances.

Across the country today, women are standing up and stepping forward and being seen. In my heart I am thinking of the women who paved the way for me to be here, walking this earth and living in this beautiful world, fighting to be seen as a person wearing female skin. My thoughts are with the generations that came before me. My heart lives in the daughters and son of my sister and brother, who will inherit this world after me.

The First Generation above me is my mother, still living. She sacrificed a lot to give us a childhood free of worry, no matter what circumstances we found ourselves in. She’s the reason I believe in Santa Claus still. She always encouraged me to dream big. She is a deep well of conversations and dreaming, and she inspires me constantly in the ways she manifests her own dreams into action and gives them life. She instilled in me that the worst thing that can happen is you fail and have to try again, but if you never try, you’ll never win. She’s one of my closest friends and our summer time visits sustain me.

My mother’s mother is still living and my father’s stepmother is still living. Both women have had long, often difficult lives, and have courageously battled cancer. I have seen such bravery and quiet strength in the women I have known, especially my Great-Grandma Elsie. She was a guiding force for me as a child and she continues to be one for me through my dreams. I have to believe that spirit is embodied in some way in the women I never met. This is how I honor them.

Those Who Have Gone Before Me

Second Generation

maternal father’s line

Donna MacDonald (1938-2001) age 62

paternal mother’s line

Ruth Emma Ruston (1916-1959) age 42

Third Generation

maternal mother’s line

Margaret Loretta Burke (1899-1938) age 35

maternal father’s line

Elsie Elizabeth Durant (1904-1994) age 89

paternal mother’s line

Minnie Estelle Wicker (1890-1964) age 73

paternal father’s line

Hattie Eva Smith (1882-1969) age 86

Fourth Generation

maternal mother’s line

Eliza Conners (b.1866)

Katherine S. Pils (1871-1946) age 74

maternal father’s line

Emma Louise Burnah (1869-1939) age 69

Frances Gillette (1877-1963) age 85

paternal mother’s line

Emma Angeline Whitcher (1845-1929) age 83 [*photo above]

Ruth Ireland (1861-1940) age 78

paternal father’s line

Hattie Eva Dutcher (1857-1882) age 24 in childbirth

Theresa Cordelia Tenney (1850-1930) age 79

Fifth Generation

maternal mother’s line

Ellen unknown (b.1836)

Mary Dowd (b.1834)

Mary Burzee

Katherine Maria Schmeelk (d.1901) –or- Ana Catherine Blume (1833-1901) age 68

maternal father’s line

Jane Berry (1841-1901) age 59

Rosella LaValley (1843-1921) age 77

Sarah Clickner (1830-1876) age 45

paternal mother’s line

Ordelia De Lozier (1810-1888) age 77

Cynthia Lusk (1819-1888) age 68

Phoebe Lenton (1826-1887) age 60

Anna Richardson (b.1822)

paternal father’s line

Eliza Marsh Bird (1837-1926) age 88

Sophia Sears (1829-1909) age 79

Malvina H. Targee (1829-1852) age 23

Hannah Ann Treadwell (1817-1884) age 66

Sixth Generation

maternal mother’s line

Wilhemenia Wernersbach (b.1798 GER-US)

Ann unknown

Betsey unknown

maternal father’s line

Esther LaLonde (1811 PQ-1894 US) age 83

Rosella LaRoche (1805-1871) age 65

Elizabeth Ann Hill (1825-1899) age 73

Mary Ann Boots (1825-1899) age 73

Mary Ann Hayner (b.1793)

Abigail Chaffee (d.1829)

paternal mother’s line

Lucy Raymond (1789-1874) age 84 [**photo below]

Dorcas Kittredge (1774-1828) age 53

Rebecca unknown

Chloe Morgan (1792-1850) age 58

Mary Wilson (b.1785)

Jane Brooks (b.1794)

paternal father’s line

Irene Pond Marsh (b.1803)

Cynthia Ann Feagles (1814-1890) age 75

Clarissa DeBois (1806-1873) age 67

Betsey unknown

Ellen S. unknown

Esther unknown

Fermicy ‘Fanny’ Peters (1798-1875) age 77

Lucy Gould (1777-1840) age 62

Seventh Generation

maternal father’s line

Marie Amable Langevin (1795-1840) age 44

Gertrude Dixon (1783-1855) age 71

Harriet Gower (1806-1886) age 80

Abigail Hannah (b.1780)

Elizabeth Weager (d.1844)

Engle ‘Angelica’ Coonradt (1746-1833) age 87

Deborah unknown

Mary/Polly Thomas (b.1760)

paternal mother’s line

Lucy Richmond (1755-1841) age 86

Eleanor Erkells (1767-1789) age 22

Mary ‘Molly’ Bailey (1730-1815) age 85

Elizabeth Dow (1735-1776) age 41

Mary A. ‘Polly’ unknown (1795-1895) age 100

Susannah Parker (1750-1825) age 75

Elizabeth Wright (b.1748)

paternal father’s line

Mary ‘Polly’ Coleman

Jane “Jennie” Palmer (1762-1815) age 52

Abigail Andrews (b.1776)

Abigail Darby (1765-1837) age 72

Delilah unknown

Anne Arnold (1752-1833) age 81

Hepsibah Skiff (1733-1800) age 66

Eighth Generation

maternal father’s line

Amable DuClos (1766-1795) age 29

Marie Agathe Charland (1751-1800) age 48

Nancy Machet (1767-1844) age 76

Margaret Anthony (1773-1819) age 46

Mary Glyde (1760-1812) age 52

Mary Calhoun (1732-1798) age 65

Julianna Merchant

Rhoda Cady (1739-1799) age 60

Rebekah Moulton (b.1742)

paternal mother’s line

Hannah Caswell (1729-1756) age 27

Elizabeth Blackmer (1716-1765) age 49

Fytje Sophia Zabriski (b.1707)

Sarah Fowle (1696-1739) age 43

Martha Hanniford (b.1721)

Jemima Davis (1706-1753) age 47

Jane Pearson (1724-1811) age 87

Abiah Washburn (1726-1812) age 86

Elizabeth unknown

Elizabeth Porter (b.1715)

paternal father’s line

Silence/Celenia Lyon (1755-1821) age 65

Jemima VanDeusen (1744-1831) age 87

Helena “Lina” Eleanor Van Deusen (1713-1769) age 55

Susannah Townsend (1740-1782) age 42

Lucretia Cleveland (1736-1824) age 88

Mary Bingham (1734-1821) age 87

Tabitha Luther (d.1746)

Elizabeth Brooks (1731-1815) age 84

Elizabeth Hatch (1697-1743) age 46

Elizabeth Parker (1700-1739) age 38

Ninth Generation

maternal father’s line

Marie Agathe Bourgault (b.1745)

Marie Madeleine Coulon (1732-1799) age 66

Katherine Coe (1700-1732) age 31

Margaret unknown

Mercy Smith (1720-1793) age 72

Abigail Lee (1703-1782) age 79

Jemima Chadwick (1686-1759) age 73

Rebekah Walker (1717-1802) age 84

paternal mother’s line

Elizabeth Barney (1691-1757) age 66

Mehitable Deane (1697-1745) age 48

Mary Mercy Brickett (1698-1725) age 27

Deborah Balch (1693-1717) age 24

Antje Terhune (1681-1758) age 77

Tryntie Catherine Slote (1671-1708) age 36

Susanna Blaney (1673-1711) age 38

Hannah French (1664-1755) age 91

Jemima Eastman (1677-1760) age 83

Mary Hoyt (1664-1723) age 59

Jane P. Noyes (1704-1773) age 69

Sarah Lillie (1702-1775) age 73

Hannah Johnson (1694-1780) age 86

Rebekah unknown

Sarah unknown

paternal father’s line

Lydia Perry (1729-1763) age 33

Lena Vosburgh (b.1714)

Rachel Fowler (1702-1780) age 78

Jacomyntje VanSchoonhoven (1678-1777) age 79

Jannetje Hendrickse Bondt (1677-1721) age 44

Huldah Hopkins (d.1731)

Desire Tobey (1707-1781) age 74

Dorothy/Deborah Hyde (1702-1769) age 67

Elizabeth Spaulding (1698-1770) age 72

Ruth Post (1711-1796) age 85

Abigail Wood (1700-1776) age 76

Ann Coggeshall (1699-1726) age 25

Mary Bateman (1696-1726) age 22

Priscilla Bateman (1687-1730) age 43

Amy Allen (1663-1709) age 46

Hepsibah Codman (1658-1696) age 38

Thankful Hemingway (1668-1736) age 68

Lydia Gay (1679-1748) age 68

I am that they were.

**Lucy Richmond, married DeLozier, my 4x great-grandma and one of the oldest generational photos we have.

They Came Across the Ocean, My Immigrant Ancestors

I am an English mutt. But don’t let the fact that they kept diligent records fool you. For as many names as you see here, there were so many more lines I could not trace out of America- I don’t have the international access to records on Ancestry. I am an equal opportunity mutt, mostly English and French and Dutch and Irish and German and Scottish.

Who are the people that gave this blood to me? The ones who travelled to an unknown world with little more than their bones and breath? They travelled across the ocean to an unknown world. They came with no guarantee of homes waiting for them. They came with what they could carry. They came across the ocean with hope and promise as their wealthiest possessions. I know from my research that they came as hired men, soldiers and freemen. They came as young girls, wives and mothers. They were all farmers and healers and teachers. They were what they had to be. They came across the ocean for freedom, for a chance.

I am,

that they were,

that they are,

that they will be.

I did a meditation this week where I copied all of their names and life information down into a notebook, and then typed it into the computer. It was an accidental meditation. It started as a necessity. But those names are etched into my skin memory.
I offer you the 261 names of my known immigrant ancestors. When I think about all of these names and how they belonged to people who lived and worked and loved and died, it is overwhelming. With the loss of just one of them, I would not be here. I call on them for strength in hard times.

I am Sarah Lyn,

Daughter of Margaret,

Daughter of Patricia,

Daughter of Margaret Loretta,

Daughter of Eliza,

Daughter of Mary, an immigrant from Ireland.

These are the names of those who immigrated before me, all crossing the Atlantic Ocean by boat:

My paternal grandfather’s line…

• [8x] James Skiffe (1610 Chelsea, London ENG – 1687 Sandwich, Barnstable MA) & Mary Margaret Reeves (1616 Chelsea, London ENG – 1673 Sandwich, Barnstable MA)
• [8x] Jonathan Hatch (1625 Sandwich, Kent ENG – 1710 Falmouth, Barnstable MA)
• [8x] Jan Willemszen de Duitscher (~1642 Einigen, Brabant NETH – 1689 Marbletown, Ulster NY)
• [8x] Guert Hendrickse VanSchoonhoven (~1634 Schoonhoven NETH – 1702 Halve Mann, Ulster NY)
• [9x] John Eaton (1611 Dover, Kent ENG - 1658 Dedham, Norfolk MA) & Abigail Gilson (1600 Faversham, Kent ENG – 1658 Dedham, Norfolk MA); they came to America in 1635.
• [9x] John Gay (born before 1612 Ashford, Kent ENG – 1687 Dedham, Norfolk MA) & Joanna Borden (born before 1612 Ashford, Kent ENG – 1691 Dedham, Norfolk MA); John crossed from Plymouth, England to Watertown, Massachusetts in 1630 at the age of 14. Joanna arrived at Watertown, Massachusetts in 1635.
• [9x] John B. Starr (1626 Ashford, Kent ENG – 1711 Boston, Suffolk MA) & Martha Bunker (1627 Odell, Bedfordshire ENG – 1703 Boston, Suffolk MA); she immigrated in 1634 with her parents.
• [9x] Robert Parker (1602 St. Edmunds, Suffolk ENG – 1685 Cambridge, Middlesex MA) & Judith Bugbee (1602 ENG – 1682 Cambridge, Middlesex MA)
• [9x] Thomas Hatch (~1598 ENG – before 1661 Yarmouth, Barnstable MA) & Grace <unknown> (~1608 WALES – ~1668 Eastham, Barnstable MA)
• [9x] Henry Rowley (1598 Parham, London ENG – 1673 Falmouth, Barnstable MA) & Sarah Palmer (1609 Parham, London ENG – before 1633 Falmouth, Barnstable MA); he immigrated in 1632.
• [9x] Samuel Allen (1596 Braintree, Essex ENG – 1669 Braintree, Norfolk MA)
• [9x] Sarah Tracy (1624 Holland, NETH – 1708 Duxbury, Plymouth MA)
• [9x] Edward Hazen (1614 Cadney, Lincolnshire ENG – 1683 Rowley, Essex MA) & Hannah Grant (1631 Cottingham, Yorkshire ENG – 1715 Haverhill, Essex MA); he immigrated in 1647.
• [9x] Thomas Crosby (1635 Spaulding Moor, Yorkshire ENG – 1702 Boston, Suffolk MA) & Sarah Ffytche / Fitch (1631 Bocking, Essex ENG – 1719 Fairfield, Fairfield CT)
• [9x] Wilhelm Jansen de Duitscher (1615 Einigen, Brabant NETH – 1673 Kingston, Ulster NY)
• [9x] Cornelis Leenderts (1615 Einigen, Brabant NETH – 1666 Long Island, Queens NY)
• [9x] Abraham Pietersen VanDeursen (1607 Holland, Noord-Brabant NETH – 1678 Albany NY) & Tryntje Melchoirs (1611 Groningen, Groningen NETH – 1678 NY, NY)
• [10x] William Gilson (1572 Freeing, Kent ENG – 1639 Scituate, Plymouth MA) & Hanah Tower (1577 Faversham, Kent ENG – 1649 Scituate, Plymouth MA)
• [10x] Comfort Starr (1589 Cranbrook, Kent ENG – 1659 Boston, Suffolk MA) & Elizabeth Mitchell (1590 ENG – 1658 Boston, Suffolk MA)
• [10x] George Bunker (1600 Bengeo, Hertfordshire ENG – 1664 Malden, Middlesex MA) & Judith Major (1604 Odell, Bedfordshire ENG – 1646 Charlestown, Suffolk MA); they immigrated in 1634 with their daughter Martha.
• [10x] William Palmer (1587 Parham, London ENG – 1637 Duxbury, Plymouth MA) & Frances Blossom (1591 Parham, London ENG – 1635 Duxbury, Plymouth MA)
• [10x] Benedict Arnold, Sr. (1615 Ilchester, Somerset ENG – 1678 RI) & Damaris Westcott (1621 ENG – after 1678 RI); he immigrated in 1635 at age 19 to Hingham MA. At the time of his death he was the Governor of Rhode Island. His son is the more famously known as a traitor of the Revolutionary War. So much so that his name became a synonym for it- my 9x great-uncle.
• [10x] Thomas Lawton (1614 Bedfordshire ENG – 1681 Portsmouth, Newport RI) & Elizabeth Salisbury (ENG – 1654 RI)
• [10x] Thomas Tenney (1615 Great Limber, Lincolnshire ENG – 1700 Rowley, Essex MA) & Ann Mighill (~1618 Rowley, Yorkshire ENG – 1657 Rowley, Essex MA); he immigrated in 1638.
• [10x] John Boynton (1614 Knapton, Wintringham, Yorkshire ENG – 1669 Rowley, Essex MA)
• [10x] Jonathan Hyde (1626 London ENG – 1711 Newton, Middlesex MA) & Mary French (1632 ENG – 1672 Newton, Middlesex MA)
• [10x] James Kidder (1626 East Grinstead, Sussex ENG – 1676 Billerica, Middlesex MA)
• [10x] Richard Sears (1590 Amsterdam NETH – 1696 Yarmouth, Barnstable MA) & Dorothy Jones (1603 Dinder, Somerset ENG – 1677 Yarmouth, Barnstable MA)
• [10x] Thomas Bird (1613 ENG – 1667 Dorchester, Boston MA) & Anne <unknown> (1617 ENG – 1673 Dorchester, Boston MA)
• [10x] Richard Williams (1606 Magna Witcombe ENG – 1662 Taunton, Bristol MA) & Frances Dighton (1611 Gloucester, Gloucestershire ENG – 1703 Taunton, Bristol MA); they immigrated in 1636, and lost their first son at sea.
• [10x] Capt. Roger Clapp (1609 Salcombe Regis, Devon ENG – 1691 Boston, Suffolk MA) & Joanna/Joan Ford (1617 Dorchester, Dorset ENG – 1695 Boston, Suffolk MA); they immigrated in 1630 on the Mary & John.
• [10x] Mary Dyer (1620 ENG – 1710 Dorchester, Boston MA); she immigrated in 1630 on the Mary & John.
• [10x] Simon Crosby (1608 Holme-on-Spaulding-Moor, Yorkshire ENG – 1639 Cambridge, Middlesex MA) & Ann Brigham (1607 Holme-Upon-Spalding-Moor, Yorkshire ENG – 1672 Quincy, Norfolk MA)
• [11x] Thomas Mighill (1575 York, Yorkshire ENG – 1654 Rowley, Essex MA) & Ellen <unknown> (1578 York, Yorkshire ENG – 1640 Rowley, Essex MA)
• [11x] Elizabeth Jackson-Boynton (1581 Wintringham, Yorkshire ENG – 1651 Salisbury, Essex MA)
• [11x] Elizabeth Jackson (1581 Wintringham, Yorkshire ENG – 1651 Salisbury, Essex MA)
• [11x] Joseph Bell/Pell (1599 ENG – 1650 Boston, Suffolk MA) & Elizabeth James Wright (1606 Hareby, Lincolnshire ENG – 1643 Boston, Suffolk MA)
• [11x] Francis Moore (1592 Maldon, Essex ENG – 1671 Newbury, Essex MA)
• [11x] Thomas Ford (1589 Bridport, Dorset ENG – 1676 Northampton, Hampshire MA) & Elizabeth Chard Cooke (1589 Bridport, Dorset ENG – 1643 Windsor, Hartford CT); they immigrated in 1630 on the Mary & John.
• [11x] Robert Pond (1597 Groton, Suffolk ENG – 1637 Dorchester, Boston MA) & Mary <unknown> (1596 Suffolk ENG – 1637 Dorchester, Boston MA)
• [11x] George Dyer (1579 Dorcester, Dorset ENG – 1672 Dorchester, Boston MA) & Elizabeth Capen (1580 Dorcester, Dorset ENG – before 1636 MA); he and his wife immigrated in 1630 on the Mary & John. George was employed as a weaver.
• [11x] Edward Wood (1598 Norwich, Norfolk ENG – 1642 Charlestown, Suffolk MA) & Ruth Lee (1602 Norwich, Norfolk ENG – 1642 Charlestown, Suffolk MA); he was a baker.
• [11x] William Hunt (1604 Halifax, Yorkshire ENG – 1667 Marlborough, Middlesex MA) & Elizabeth Best (1607 Halifax, Yorkshire ENG – 1661 Concord, Middlesex MA)
• [11x] Francis Moore (1592 Maldon, Essex ENG – 1671 Newberry, Essex MA)
• [11x] Thomas Crosby (1575 Holme-on-Spaulding-Moor, Yorkshire ENG – 1661 Rowley, Essex MA) & Jane Southron (1581 Holme-on-Spaulding-Moor, Yorkshire ENG – 1662 Rowley, Essex MA)
• [12x] William Jackson (1585 Hunsley, Yorkshire ENG – 1688 Rowley, Essex MA) & Joan <unknown> (1617 Rowley, Essex ENG – 1680 Rowley, Essex MA)

My paternal grandmother’s line…

• [2x] Charles Evan Ruston (1847 Chatteris, Cambridgeshire ENG – 1933 Niagara County NY) & Ruth Ireland (1861 Doddington, Cambridgeshire ENG – 1940 Niagara County NY); Charles was from a wealthy family and Ruth was a maid in another home. They married for love in 1881 and he was disowned, and they immediately left for America. 
• [7x] William Wicker (1690 Seaton, Devon ENG – 1769 Leicester, Worcester MA)
• [8x] Thomas Whittier (1620 Millchill, Wiltshire ENG – 1696 Haverhill, Essex MA) & Ruth Rolfe Green (1626 White Parish, Wiltshire ENG – 1710 Haverhill, Essex MA); he immigrated April 1638.
• [8x] Capt. John Kittredge (1630 Oulton, Lowestoft, Suffolk ENG – 1676 Billerica, Middlesex MA) ; John was a ship captain known for his ability to set bones and he practiced his art without a medical license, which was illegal, so he was forced to flee to America to avoid prosecution.
• [8x] John French (1635 Halstead, Essex ENG – 1712 Billerica, Middlesex MA)
• [8x] Francois LeSueur (1625 Challe-Mesnil, Dieppe, Normandy, FR – 1671 Harlem, NY) & Jannatje Pietersen Hildbrand (1639 Reusel de Mierden, Amsterdam NETH – 1678 Kingston, Ulster NY); he immigrated in 1657 with his sister Jeanne. He was a Huguenot refugee and a civil engineer who helped design New Haarlem.
• [8x] Albrecht Zabriskie (1637 PRUSSIA/POLAND – 1711 Hackensack, Bergen NJ); he immigrated in 1662 on the Fox, fleeing from involuntary military service. Papers state he was from Eastern Silesia.
• [8x] Hendrickje Stephense Van Voorhees (1659 Hees NETH – 1692 Hackensack NJ); female.
• [9x] John Winslow (1597 Kempsey, Wocestershire ENG – 1674 Boston, Suffolk MA) & Mary Chilton (1607 Sandwich, Kent ENG – 1679 Boston, Suffolk MA); he arrived on the Fortune in 1621. She arrived on the Mayflower in 1620 as the youngest passenger. Both her parents died the first winter and lore says she was the first passenger to step on land. He was brother to the famous Mayflower Separatist, Edward Winslow.
• [9x] Sgt. Humphrey Johnson (1620 London, Middlesex ENG – 1693 Hingham, Suffolk MA)
• [9x] John Leavitt (1608 Beverly, Yorkshire ENG – 1691 Hingham, Suffolk MA) & Sarah Gilman (1622 Hingham, Norfolk ENG – 1700 Hingham, Suffolk MA)
• [9x] Hannah Smith (1638 ENG - 1666 Reading, Middlesex MA)
• [9x] Deacon John Pearson Sr. (1609 York, Yorkshire ENG – 1693 Rowley, Essex MA) & Dorcas Pickard (1621 Holme-on-Spaulding-Moor, Yorkshire ENG – 1702 Rowley, Essex MA)
• [9x] Daniel Thurston (1631 Cransbrook, Kent ENG – 1693 Newbury, Essex MA)
• [9x] Thomas Thurlo (1632 Holme-on-Spaulding-Moor, Yorkshire ENG – 1713 Newbury, Essex MA)
• [9x] John Rolfe (1589 White Parish, Wiltshire ENG – 1664 Newbury, Essex MA) & Joane Coles (1591 White Parish, Wiltshire ENG – 1638 Newbury, Essex MA)
• [9x] Francis Littlefield (1619 ENG – 1712 Wells, York ME) & Jane Hill (1619 ENG – 1646 Woburn, Middlesex MA)
• [9x] William French (1603 Halstead, Essex ENG – 1681 Billerica, Middlesex MA) & Elizabeth Godfrey (1605 ENG – 1668 MA)
• [9x] George Fowle (1610 Sandhurst, Kent ENG – 1682 Charlestown, Suffolk MA) & Mary Tufts (1613 Concord, Middlesex ENG – 1676 Charlestown, Suffolk MA)
• [9x] Capt. John Carter (1616 ENG – 1692 Woburn, Middlesex MA) & Elizabeth Kendall (1613 Hereford, Herefordshire ENG – 1691 Woburn, Middlesex MA)
• [9x] Hilldebrand Pietersen (1613 Amsterdam, Noord-Holland NETH – 1639 New Amsterdam NY) & Femmetje Albertse (1615 Noord-Holland NETH – 1667 Kingston, Ulster NY)
• [9x] Joost Huybertszen Vander Linde (1635 Wageningen NETH – New Amsterdam NY) & Fytje Roelofse Van Gelder (NETH – New Amsterdam NY); he was in America by 1661.
• [9x] John Washburn (1621 Worchestershire ENG – 1686 Plymouth MA)
• [9x] Robert Latham (~1623 ENG – before 1689 Plymouth MA); he showed himself to be a bad man. There will be a separate post about him later.
• [9x] Humphrey Johnson (1622 ENG – 1693 Plymouth MA) & Ellen/Eleanor Cheney/Chaney (1620 ENG – 1678 Plymouth MA)
• [9x] William Raymond (1637 St. Johns, Somerset ENG – 1709 Beverly, Essex MA); immigrated in 1651.
• [9x] John Kettle (1621 ENG – 1685 Salem, Essex MA)
• [9x] John Balch (1604 Kilmington, Somerset ENG – 1648 Salem, Essex MA) & Margery Lovett (1603 Wells, Somerset ENG – 1682 Beverly, Essex MA)
• [9x] William Blackmore (1640 Northam, Devon ENG – 1676 Scituate, Plymouth MA); he was slain by Indians in a raid.
• [9x] John Richmond (1627 Amesbury, Wiltshire ENG – 1715 Taunton, Bristol MA)
• [9x] Walter Deane (1612 Chard, Somerset ENG – 1693 Taunton, Bristol MA) & Eleanor Strong (1613 Chard, Somerset ENG – 1693 Taunton, Bristol MA); he worked as a tanner.
• [9x] Thomas Casswell (Somersetshire ENG – 1697 Taunton, Bristol MA); he was in America by 1643.
• [9x] William Throop (1636 Nottingham, Nottinghamshire ENG – 1704 Bristol RI)
• [10x] Francis Cooke (1583 Kent ENG – 1663 Plymouth MA) & Hester Le Mathieu (1582 Caterbury ENG – 1666 Plymouth MA); he immigrated on the Mayflower with his oldest son in 1620. She arrived in 1623 on the Anne. She was a French-speaking Walloon. Her family was originally from Belgium.
• [10x] John Johnson (1595 River Lee ENG – 1659 Roxbury, Boston MA) & Margery Scudder (Darenthe ENG – 1655 Roxbury, Boston MA)
• [10x] Edward Lillie (ENG – America) immigrated in 1635 on the George.
• [10x] James Chilton (1560 Canterbury, Kent ENG – 1620 Cape Cod MA) & Mrs. Chilton (1564 Canterbury, Kent ENG – 1621 Plymouth Bay MA); they arrived on the Mayflower in 1620 with their 12 year-old daughter. He was the oldest passenger and one of the first to die during winter aboard the ship. She also died the first winter aboard the ship.
• [10x] William Cheney (1603 Lambourn, Berkshire ENG – 1667 Roxbury, Suffolk MA)
• [10x] Percival Levitt II (1580 Beverly, Yorkshire ENG – 1691 Hingham, Suffolk MA) & Margaret Linkley (1589 Beverly, Yorkshire ENG – 1691 Hingham, Suffolk MA)
• [10x] Edward Gilman (1587 Hingham, Norfolkshire ENG – 1655 Exeter, Rockingham NH) & Mary Clark (1590 Hingham, Norfolkshire ENG – 1681 Hingham, Suffolk MA); they immigrated in 1638.
• [10x] Deacon Thomas Parker (1609 Browsholme, Wiltshire ENG – 1683 Reading, Middlesex MA)
• [10x] Deacon Thomas Kendall (1614 ENG – 1681 Reading, Middlesex MA) & Rebecca Paine (1618 ENG – 1703 Reading, Middlesex MA)
• [10x] Edward Littlefield (ENG – MA) & Annis Austin (1596 Exeter, Devon ENG – 1678 Wells, York ME)
• [10x] Peter Tufts (1589 Wilby, Norfolk ENG – 1700 Charlestown, Suffolk MA)
• [10x] Thomas Carter (ENG – 1652 Charlestown, Suffolk MA) & Mary Parkhurst Dalton (1582 ENG – 1665 Charlestown, Suffolk MA)
• [10x] Edward Bishop (1620 ENG – 1646 Salem, Essex MA); immigrated in 1639.
• [10x] William Allen (1602 Allen Hall, Stratford WALES – 1679 Manchester, Essex MA); immigrated 1639.
• [10x] Richard Banks (1607 Dover, Kent ENG – 1692 York, York ME)
• [10x] Daniel Hovey (1618 Waltham Abbey, Essex ENG – 1692 Ipswich, Essex MA); immigrated 1635.
• [10x] John Richmond (1594 Crichlade, Wiltshire ENG – 1663 Taunton, Bristol MA) & Elizabeth Nicholas (1596 Camden, Berkshire ENG – 1642 Taunton, Bristol MA); immigrated 1637.
• [10x] John Rogers (1606 Watford, Hertfordshire ENG – 1692 Duxbury, Plymouth MA) & Anna Churchman (1618 Huntington, Hertfordshire ENG – 1673 Plymouth MA)
• [10x] Jacob Barney (1601 Bradenham, Breham ENG – 1673 Salem, Essex MA) & Elizabeth Catesby (1605 Buckingham ENG – 1673 Salem, Essex MA)
• [10x] John Witt (1612 ENG – 1675 Lynn, Essex MA) & Sarah <unknown> (1616 ENG – 1680 Lynn, Essex MA)
• [10x] Ralph Chapman (1615 Southwark, Surrey ENG – 1672 Marshfield, Plymouth MA) & Lydia Willis (1618 ENG – 1671 Marshfield, Plymouth MA)
• [11x] Lawrence John Cheney (1566 Lambourn, Berkshire ENG – 1643 Roxbury, Suffolk MA)
• [11x] Sir Edward Bishop (1601 Sussex, Suffolk ENG – 1695 Beverly, Essex MA) & Sarah Wildes (1601 ENG – 1673 Beverly, Essex MA); they immigrated in 1639.
• [11x] John Moore (1614 ENG – 1677 Windsor, Hartford CT) & Abigail Pinney (1618 ENG – 1677 Windsor, Hartford CT)
• [11x] John Bradley (1578 Gloucester, Essex ENG – 1642 Dorchester, Suffolk MA) & Katherine Bexwicke (1596 Gloucester, Essex ENG – 1633 Dorchester, Suffolk MA)
• [11x] Robert Andrews (1560 Hastings ENG – 1643 Ipswitch, Essex MA) & Elizabeth Franklin (1572 Suffolk ENG – 1671 Ipswitch, Essex MA); he immigrated in 1635.
• [11x] Robert Andrews (1593 Hastings, Sussex ENG – 1643 Ipswich, Essex MA) & Elizabeth Franklin (1595 Of, Suffolk ENG – 1671 Ipswich, Essex MA)
• [11x] Thomas Rogers (1572 Watford, Hertfordshire ENG – 1621 Plymouth MA); Thomas arrived on the Mayflower in 1620. He died in January aboard the boat. His wife remained in the Netherlands.
• [11x] Hugh Churchman (1592 Broomehall, Sussex ENG – 1644 Lynn, Essex MA) & Anne Mary Whistance (1596 Huntington ENG – Lynn, Essex MA)
• [11x] Isaac Willis/Welles (1595 Welches Dam, Cambridgeshire ENG – 1671 Barnstable MA) & Margaret Luce (1599 ENG – 1675 Barnstable MA); he immigrated in 1638.
• [11x] Thomas Moore (1584 ENG – 1645 Windsor, Hartford CT) & Elizabeth Young (1588 Southwold, Suffolk ENG – 1639 Windsor, Hartford CT)
• [12x] Thomas Moore (ENG – 1645 Windsor, Hartford CT) & Elizabeth Young (1588 Southwold, Suffolk ENG – 1639 Windsor, Hartford CT)
• [12x] Humphrey Pinney (1588 ENG – 1683 Windsor, Hartford CT) & Mary/Marie Hull (1596 ENG – 1684 Windsor, Hartford CT); she immigrated in 1630.
• [13x] Sir George Hull (~1580 Crewkerne, Somerset ENG – 1659 Windsor, Hartford CT) & Thomasina/Thamzin Mitchell (~1580 Stockland, Bristol ENG – 1655 Fairfield CT)
• [14x] Richard Elwin/Elvin (1555 Southwold, Suffolk ENG – 1647 Boston, Suffolk MA)

My maternal grandfather’s line…

• [3x] Albert Durant (1841 Quebec PQ – 1920 Chittendon VT) & Rosella LaValley (1843 Providence PQ – 1921 Burlington, Chittendon VT); he immigrated in 1850.
• [4x] Francois Xavier Lavalle (1818 LaPrairie PQ – 1889 Dannemora, Clinton NY) & Rosella LaRoche (1805 Lacolle PQ – 1871 Burlington, Chittendon VT)
• [5x] Josiah Boots (1796 Ewhurst, Sussex ENG – 1873 Royalton NY) & Harriet Gower (1806 Sussex ENG – 1886 Royalton NY); her parents were Welsh.
• [5x] Thomas Berry (1782 IRELAND – 1818 Mayfield, Fulton NY)
• [5x] Alexis Lavallee (1793 Chambly PQ – 1868 Rouses Point, Clinton NY)
• [6x] Thomas Riddle/Ridel (1739 Tyrone Co IRE – 1809 Monson, Hampden MA); he immigrated in 1758.
• [6x] John Berry (1762 IRELAND – 1820 Mayfield, Fulton NY) & Nancy Machet (1767 IRE – 1844 Mayfield, Fulton NY)    
• [7x] Baltus Goedemoet (1722 NETH – died in America)
• [7x] David Calhoun (1690 Donegal IRE or SCOTLAND – 1769 Washington, Litchfield CT)
• [8x] William Calhoun (1664 Crosh House, Donegal IRE – 1752 CT) & Alice Cunningham (1670 Donegal IRE – 1712 CT)
• [9x] Nicholas La Groves (1645 Isle of Jersey – 1701 Beverly, Essex MA); he was a Huguenot refugee.
• [9x] Thomas Chaffee (1610 Stepney, Middlesex ENG – 1683 Swansea, Bristol MA) & Dorothy Thomas (1620 ENG – 1683 Swansea, Bristol MA); immigrated 1635.
• [9x] Richard Martin (1609 Ottery, Devonshire ENG – 1694 Rehoboth, Bristol MA) & Elizabeth Salter (1616 Bicton, Devon ENG – 1649 Rehoboth, Bristol MA); immigrated 1659.
• [9x] Isaac Etienne Paquet dit Lavallee (1636 Clermont FR – 1702 Montmorency PQ); he crossed in 1665 as a soldier in LaMotte’s regiment. He helped clear roads, protect the civilians, and build multiple forts in what would become Quebec.
• [10x] Robert Moulton (1616 ENG – 1665 Salem, Essex MA) & Abigail Goode (1620 St. Helen, London ENG – 1666 Salem, Essex MA)
• [10x] Henry Francis Cooke, Sr. (1615 Doncaster, Yorkshire ENG – 1661 Salem, Essex MA) & Judith Anne Birdsall (1616 Yorkshire ENG – 1689 Salem, Essex MA); he immigrated in 1638 at the age of 22. She immigrated in 1635.
• [10x] Deacon Henry Baldwin (1623 Aston Clinton, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire ENG – 1698 Woburn, Middlesex MA)
• [10x] Obadiah Ward (1632 Clerkenwell, London ENG – 1718 Marlborough, Middlesex MA)
• [10x] Jeremiah Gillett (1608 Chaffcombe, Somerset ENG – after 1650 CT); he immigrated in 1630.
• [10x/11x] Thomas Wheeler (1620 Bourne End, Wooburn, Buckinghamshire ENG – 1676 Concord, Middlesex MA); he immigrated in 1637.
• [10x] Richard Holbrook (1618 Glastonbury,Somerset ENG – 1670 Milford, New Haven CT)
• [10x] John Smith (~1600 Hertfordshire ENG – 1684 Milford, New Haven CT) 
• [10x] Edward Lee (1610 Stoke Canon, Devon ENG – Windsor, Hartford CT) & Elizabeth Kelland (1610 ENG - Windsor, Hartford CT)
• [10x] Stephen Hart (1614 Ipswich, Suffolk ENG – 1683 Farmington, Hartford CT) & Elizabeth Symons (1617 Barnstable, Devon ENG – 1678 Farmington, Hartford CT)
• [10x] John Warner, Sr. (1615 Chelmsford, Essex ENG – 1679 Farmington, Hartford CT) & Margaret Earley (1614 Bishops Stortford, Hertfordshire ENG – 1679 Farmington, Hartford CT)
• [10x] Thomas Canfield (1623 Hitchin, Hertfordshire ENG – 1689 Milford, New Haven CT) & Phebe Crane (1626 ENG – 1690 Milford, New Haven CT)
• [10x] Nathaniel Briscoe (~1624 Little Missendon, Buckinghamshire ENG – 1683 Milford, New Haven CT)
• [10x] Mathurin Paquet (1610 Clermont FR – 1678 Chauteau-Richer PQ) & Marie Freemillion (1619 Poiton FR – ~1670 St. Jean de Montaigne PQ)
• [10x] ‘Joseph’ Mathurin Meunier/Lemonier (1619 Clermont FR – 1676 Chauteau-Richer PQ) & Francoise Fafard (1624 Argences FR – 1701 Beaupre PQ)
• [11x] Robert Moulton (1590 Southwark, Middlesex ENG – 1655 Salem, Essex MA) & Deborah Edwards (1599 Eastern ENG – 1656 Charlestown, Essex MA); Robert was hired by the English Company to build ships in New England. He and his wife crossed aboard the George Bonaventure in 1629.
• [11x] John Goode (1587 Ipswich, Suffolk ENG – 1609 Salem, Essex MA) & Abigail Downing (1590 Ipswich, Suffolk ENG – 1665 Salem, Essex MA)
• [11x] Edmund Cooke (1568 Northclay, Canterbury, Kent ENG – 1619 Salem, Essex MA) & Elizabeth Nicholls (1573 Northclay, Canterbury, Kent ENG – 1632 Salem, Essex MA)
• [11x] Henry Birdsall (1578 Birdsall, Yorkshire ENG – 1651 Salem, Essex MA) & Judith Agnes Kempe (1589 Walbrook, London ENG – 1632 Salem, Essex MA)
• [11x] Michael Sallows (1596 Shadingfield, Suffolk ENG – 1646 Salem, Essex MA) & Ann Wilson (1598 Bletchley, Buckinghamshire ENG – 1646 Salem, Essex MA)
• [11x] Peter Wolfe (1606 ENG – 1675 Beverly, Essex MA) & Mary <unknown> (1610 ENG – 1657 MA)
• [11x] Capt. Richard Walker (1592 Marlborough, Wiltshire ENG – 1687 Lynn, Essex MA) & Jane Talmage (ENG – Lynn, Essex MA); she and her husband immigrated in 1630. He was a soldier.
• [11x] Ezekial Richardson (1606 Hertfordshire ENG – 1647 Woburn, Middlesex MA)
• [11x] William Ward (1603 Warrington, Cheshire ENG – 1687 Marlboro, Middlesex MA) & Elizabeth Phillipus (1613 ENG – 1700 Marlboro, Middlesex MA); she and her husband immigrated in 1638.
• [11x] Andrew Warner (1595 Great Waltham, Essex ENG – 1692 Hatfield, Hampshire MA) & Mary Humphrey (1601 Great Waltham, Essex ENG – 1672 Hadley, Hampshire MA)
• [11x] Jeremiah Gillette (~1610 Chaffcombe ENG – Dorchester MA); he came to America on the Mary & John in 1630.
• [11x] Thomas Canfield (1596 Hitchin, Hertfordshire ENG – 1679 Milford, New Haven CT)
• [11x] Jasper Crane (1599 London, Middlesex ENG – 1680 Newark, Essex NJ) & Agnes Leave (1608 Bath, Somerset ENG – 1675 Newark, Essex NJ)

My maternal grandmother’s line…

• [3x] Adam Art/Arth (1828 Hesse-Darmstadt GERMANY – 1896 Pendleton NY); immigrated with his mother and brothers on the Columbia in 1853. His wife is either Ana Catherine Blume or Katherine Maria Schmeelk, both of whom immigrated from GER in 1848.
• [3x] John F. Pils (1827 GER – 1911 Lockport NY); he immigrated in 1855 at the age of 17.
• [3x] David Conners (1838 IRE – after 1903 Lockport NY) & Mary Dowd (1837 IRE – after 1903 Lockport NY); they possibly immigrated in 1850.
• [4x] Wilhemenia Wernersbach-Arth (1798 GER – Pendleton NY); she travelled to America as a widow with her three sons on the Columbia in 1853.
• [4x] Barney Dowd (~1800 IRE – NY)

I am Sarah Lyn,

Daughter of Margaret,

Daughter of Patricia,

Daughter of Margaret Loretta,

Daughter of Eliza,

Daughter of Mary, an immigrant from Ireland.

This is the Britannia, a replica of the Columbia, the ship my German Arth ancestors took to America.

How We Meet Our Challenges

I’m not special in my suffering. It’s one of the things I know I have in common with my ancestors. At some point, the universe has delivered us all difficult challenges.

My 10x great-grandmother Mary Chilton found herself orphaned in the new world at the age of 12 when both of her parents died the first winter. My 3x great-grandparents Bailey Harrison Whitcher and Ordelia Lozier lost two sons to the Civil War, a heartache I cannot imagine. My great-grandmother Hattie Eva Smith, had to go to work at the age of forty-eight after her husband died, due to his pre-existing condition that meant the government didn’t have to pay on his pension.

And I got burnt. Pretty f’ing badly.

It didn’t happen for a reason. No one was punishing me. It was no one’s fault. Just a freak accident.

My ancestress Mary toughed out the first few years at Plymouth under the care of another family until her older siblings crossed over. She made the new world her home. Bailey and Ordelia moved on, as much as any family can. And great-grandma Hattie worked as a nurse until she died.

And I’m going to walk.

I could let the pain and sadness swallow me. Or I could let the joy at breathing and opening my eyes every day wash over me. I choose happiness and love, which I hold onto on dark days, for their are plenty of those.

Would you confront a nightmare with more darkness?

I light candles on my ancestor altar and I call on their strength. Whether the answer comes carried to me on the winds or is borne from deep within me, I feel them, walking with me. I am not alone.

The Rite of Passage in Trick-or-Treating

When I think of Halloween, my mind drifts to cups of mulled cider, the crunch of fresh apples, bright orange jack o’ lanterns, crisp leaves underfoot and the smoky breath in the evening air that foretells the coming of winter. The holidays of my childhood evoke memories of monster movies and spider webs, pillowcases full of candy, bobbing for apples, spooky houses and things unknown.

And trick-or-treating.

Once a year we had permission to, and were encouraged to, dress in costumes while travelling door-to-door, collecting candy in our pillowcases. Looking back, I understand that Halloween was a chance for an insecure girl to wear another skin, someone else I might be. Our parents would ask us, “What do you want to be for Halloween?” and the universe would open before me. When I didn’t have an idea for a costume I would raid my parents’ closet and come out some version of hobo, hippie or gypsy. Halloween, dipping us into darkness, was ripe with possibility for those among the living.

Halloween has its origins in the Celtic festival of Samhain, pronounced sow-en, eventually coming to America with immigrants in the 18^th and 19^th centuries. Children went out into the night carrying lanterns lit with candles, called samhnag, made from turnips. The root vegetables were carved with frightening faces to scare away the spirits wandering the night. Children went from home to home, guised in supernatural costumes, where they were given offerings of food or coins. The gifts were meant to help the children ward off any spirits wishing to do harm on Samhain, the night when the dead walked again.

Some later customs refer to it as Souling, where children would offer prayers for the dead in return for a small cake. At houses where they were refused, they would batter the door with the butt ends of turnips. One of the earliest records of guising for Halloween comes from 1895 Scotland. A North American reference to it in a newspaper in Ontario in 1911, reports that children would go guising between six and seven on Halloween, spilling songs and rhymes and being rewarded for them with candies and nuts. Trick or Treating as we know it in America didn’t begin until the 1950s.

Our parents carried us door-to-door when we were children and later, when we could walk on our own, they would coax and encourage us to go up and ring the doorbell while they waited for us on the sidewalk after a whispered reminder of what we were meant to say. The walk to the porch was long to my short legs. The temperature in the air dropped in the space between my parent and the heat behind the unfamiliar door opening before me. After a hearty “Trick or treat!” and a piece of candy dropped in our pillowcase we would run back to our parent, back to safe, and on to the next home.

The first year that we went out trick-or-treating without chaperone- our own little gang of tricksters- was an early, and personal, rite of passage. Mom stayed home to mind the door and was busy making sheets of homemade pepperoni pizza so it would be hot and waiting when we came in out of the cold. We walked the neighborhood and then the same route we walked every morning to elementary school. Up one side of the street and home the other. It was familiar and known, but in the cloak of darkness it felt foreign. Landmarks stood in shadow and we needed new eyes to find our way.

We were being trusted to watch out for each other, to stay safe, to cross streets wisely and not to stray beyond the streets we knew, or the ones we were told we could travel. As children we didn’t realize how far the web of grown ups-who-knew-each-other spun and we were not hip to the fact that we were never in any true danger.  But that unknown is an essential element to the rites of passage that test our mettle and help us grow. The cold leaves crunched underfoot as we ran from porch light to porch light, pillow cases filling fast with candies my brother and sister and I would later sort through and trade (always setting aside some tootsie rolls for my dad).

There was one house that was always decorated fantastically for the trick-or-treaters. And then one year, the house was barren, the only decoration a scarecrow flopped onto the porch with a bowl of candy in its lap. A lot of houses that closed for the night would put the candy bowl out on the porch with a note. As we closed upon the porch, I felt a strange feeling in my belly and I stopped. That’s a person, I thought. I knew that when we got up there, the scarecrow was going to grab us.

We stood still, watching the scarecrow and debating whether or not it could be a real person. We dared someone to see what kind of candy was in the bowl so we could gauge whether or not it was worth it. The scarecrow didn’t move the entire time and was sitting at a strange angle. We approached in a group and as I reached into the bowl… the scarecrow grabbed my hand as we screamed and ran halfway back down the sidewalk. A familiar voice laughed, assuring us it was our neighbor. We stood our ground and made him show his face before we went back for the candy we had earned.

There was a thrill in being able to be brave without the need for a parent. On our own we had evaluated the threat, calculated a plan and supported each other in carrying it out, calling on the energies of our Other skins to aid us. On Halloween we stood in the shadow of no one. It was always light when we started our adventure and in the joy of running from porch to porch we would lose the subtle slip into darkness until we were cold and tired and our bags were heavy with loot. Often, home seemed far away. We would slip home and share stories of what we had seen on our travels.

The next morning’s walk to school, I was aware that the same-old route I had been taking every morning was different. It was bigger. The houses weren’t just landmarks anymore. They were also skins of homes with families and faces inside of them, containing other children who thought the world was no bigger than the size of their house. On that morning I understood the world was bigger than my house, my block, my route to school. There was more of it than I could comprehend.

As a child, on Halloween night I walked with demons and devils, witches, ghosts and ghouls borrowing human skin, along with superheroes and princesses. I dared to enter dark places and returned from them unharmed. In the turning of the world, I learned I could enter the darkness and return. Maybe not unscathed, but I could return and know the healing would come. Each year now, as I drop candy into the bags and baskets of little cows, superheroes, witches and pirates, I hope they will remember their fearlessness on this night. I hope they will remember how they learned to move from jack o’ lantern light to jack o’ lantern light as a way as a means to get through the darkness.

[Originally published October 26, 2011.]

Go to the Woods

Go to the woods, or the desert, or the plains, or the shore. Go to the spaces and places you live upon. Get out of your homes and your boxes and walls and sit in the natural world you have adopted as your own.

For people with an earth-centered spirituality, it’s an urgent heartbeat pounding at the back of our souls. Go to the woods. Sit by the river. Climb those rocks. Sail those seas. Bird watch. Forage for fungus. We are meant to want to be part of it all. The more attuned to nature you get, the louder that rhythm pulses through you.

In the city I can’t see that the sky is literally dusted with so many stars there is no such thing as darkness. In the city I can’t hear the symphony of birdsong over the sounds of traffic, both human and automotive. But I heard them in the woods, the beautiful birds in chorus with soft tweets and sharp whistles, punctuated by the percussive woodpecker and the scatting grok of the raven.

A week on a mountain and I was humbled in those woods. I was a human walking in their world. I was not threatening and, after a cursory examination, they paid me no mind. Catbirds swooped down to see what I was doing in their territory, and I acknowledged their claim to the space with offerings of birdseed and nuts.

Go to the woods, where the beetles and the chipmunks live. Go to where the wolf spiders and snakes are, to where the coltsfoot and burdock blossom. Learn to walk as part of their world, not as a predator in it.

Find where the wild strawberries grow and the raccoon kits take their first steps. Listen at dusk as the owls call out and the heron glides silent across the water. Open to the land our ancestors lived on. Open to the new world they experienced and relied upon. Have gratitude for your industrial comforts. And then, go to the woods.

We are one of many animal species, and we all make home from the same earth. It matters. Our sameness matters. How can we truly live in a place if we do not know it, if we do not understand it… if we cannot see it? How can we care about it? Or about what we leave behind for the coming generations?

So go to the woods. Go to the park. Plant a garden. Fill your bird feeders. Hug a tree and feel it bend in the wind. Feel it bend and sigh and speak. Watch the weeds find purchase in broken sidewalks. Nature has a will and nature finds a way. All is changing and we are made to be changeable. Be a part of the flow. Do not stand against it. Stand in the awe and might of the natural world and be of it. Be home.

What Cousin, How Many Times Removed?

No matter how many times someone explained to me how to figure out the relationship with distant cousins, I never understood how to figure it out. I’ve met quite a few people through my blog who share ancestors with me and I wanted to learn how we are connected. I’m going to break it down as simply as I can.

Cousins

In order to determine what cousin you are to another descendant, you have to find your common ancestor. If it is your 3x great-grandparent, and a fellow descendants 3x great-grandfather, then you are fourth cousins. This is the easy part.

• Same parents? Siblings
• Same grandparents? First cousins.
• Same 1x great-grandparents? Second cousins.
• Same 2x great-grandparents? Third cousins.
• Same 3x great-grandparents? Fourth cousins.
• Same 4x great-grandparents? Fifth cousins.
• Same 5x great-grandparents? Sixth cousins.
• Same 6x great-grandparents? Seventh cousins.
• Same 7x great-grandparents? Eighth cousins.

I will also note here, that if you only have one grandparent in common, due to second or third marriages, the genealogical world considers that you are half-blood cousins.

Removed

If your number doesn’t come out the same, you need to find out how many generations it takes to connect differing generations to the same ancestor. This is much easier than it sounds! To decide on what cousin you are to each other, you go with the lower number.

If they are your 4x great-grandparents and the other person’s 6x great-grandparents, then you are fifth cousins. How many times removed? All you have to do is subtract the lower number from the higher number. So, fifth cousins twice removed.

I recently connected with a woman who shares ancestors with me. My 3x great-grandparents Bailey Harrison Whitcher and Ordelia Lozier are her 4x great-grandparents. Which makes us fourth cousins, once removed.

If you are someone who needs a visual, this graph should help:

Your à vs. Their:	Grand	1x Great	2x Great	3x Great	4x Great	5x Great	6x Great	7x Great
Grand	First Cousin	First Cousin Once Removed	First Cousin Twice Removed	First Cousin 3x Removed	First Cousin 4x Removed	First Cousin 5x Removed	First Cousin 6x Removed	First Cousin 7x Removed
1x Great	First Cousin Once Removed	Second Cousin	Second Cousin Once Removed	Second Cousin Twice Removed	Second Cousin 3x Removed	Second Cousin 4x Removed	Second Cousin 5x Removed	Second Cousin 6x Removed
2x Great	First Cousin Twice Removed	Second Cousin Once Removed	Third Cousin	Third Cousin Once Removed	Third Cousin Twice Removed	Third Cousin 3x Removed	Third Cousin 4x Removed	Second Cousin 5x Removed
3x Great	First Cousin 3x Removed	Second Cousin Twice Removed	Third Cousin Once Removed	Fourth Cousin	Fourth Cousin Once Removed	Fourth Cousin Twice Removed	Fourth Cousin 3x Removed	Fourth Cousin 4x Removed
4x Great	First Cousin 4x Removed	Second Cousin 3x Removed	Third Cousin Twice Removed	Fourth Cousin Once Removed	Fifth Cousin	Fifth Cousin Once Removed	Fifth Cousin Twice Removed	Fifth Cousin 3x Removed
5x Great	First Cousin 5x Removed	Second Cousin 4x Removed	Third Cousin 3x Removed	Fourth Cousin Twice Removed	Fifth Cousin Once Removed	Sixth Cousin	Sixth Cousin Once Removed	Sixth Cousin Twice Removed
6x Great	First Cousin 6x Removed	Second Cousin 5x Removed	Third Cousin 4x Removed	Fourth Cousin 3x Removed	Fifth Cousin Twice Removed	Sixth Cousin Once Removed	Seventh Cousin	Seventh Cousin Once Removed
7x Great	First Cousin 7x Removed	Second Cousin 6x Removed	Third Cousin 5x Removed	Fourth Cousin 4x Removed	Fifth Cousin 3x Removed	Sixth Cousin Twice Removed	Seventh Cousin Once Removed	Eighth Cousin

Somewhere we are all related. I have met fourth cousins and twenty-third cousins twice removed. I meet everyone with that thought in my heart. No matter our differences, somewhere we are cousins.