A Prayer for the Passing of a Difficult Relationship

Sometimes when people pass, we find ourselves at a loss for what to say, suffering from conflicting emotions. What happens when we are not saddened by the loss of the person, but saddened by the loss of the chance to change the unsatisfying relationship? Can we find it within ourselves to honor the end of their life despite our ambivalent hearts? For me, the answer has become yes.

I Hope You Knew Peace (Sarah Lyn, 2014)

Wherever you were, whatever you were doing

in that last moment, I hope you knew peace.

Things left unsaid will find their way into the world

as whispers on the winds.

Things left undone were not meant to be done.

Or perhaps they were. Let other hands take up their toil,

let them fade into ether.

The end of this journey is the end of this story.

Now it’s time to start a new one.

May your heart be lighter it’s next turn.

There is no need to hold onto the bones of the earth.

There is no need to hold onto the bones of your flesh.

Those you left behind will follow you.

Those who passed before will be waiting.

Let the living unravel the tangle of your loss.

At the end, it weighs no heavier.

May what is leftover fall to the earth

as you become one with the starry sky.

You are free from pain now.

Be free. I collect letters from language,

rolling them in my hands, forming words…

My hands pray your name. I honor who you were to me.

I speak your name into the waters. I honor that you were.

I speak your name to the earth. I witness what remains for those left behind.

I speak your name to the air. I take in the last breath you released.

I hold the gate as you walk towards ancestral fire.

May you be at peace.

May those who remain find peace.

May it be so.

It is for my own heart that I release residual anger. It is for my own self that I understand that we make choices from places of joy or fear and some people cannot help but choose fear and it is not meant to be personal. It is for my peace of mind that I wish things could have been different but accept them for what they were, for what they are.

I believe everyone deserves a moment of kindness at the end of all things. So I wish them peace, all of those who died alone, all of those who passed with things left unfinished. I wish them peace and a continuing journey. May their spirits cross over, and leave this earthly plane. Ase.

This week I honor the passing of Paul L. Slomba (Oct 4, 1939 – April 2, 2014), the last of my grandfathers, after battling a difficult cancer.