What happens when you discover an
unsavory character attached to your family tree? It’s a topic that comes up during
discussions about ancestor work, as if that discovery re-colors the shade of
who you are. It doesn’t. Who you are hasn’t changed. What it does do, is add
depth and dimension to your family history, of who your people were, and how they evolved over
generations. How would we see the light without the darkness, too?
The reality is that many of us,
were we able to trace our family lines fully enough, would find ancestors who
fought against native peoples, owned slaves, fought against the suffragette
movement, treated their wives and children like possessions, signed documents
telling the local Jewish communities to move on, spent time in prison, etc. Serial
killers have families, too. Everyone’s family history is riddled with
ne’er-do-wells, because once upon a time, those things were the way people were
in the world. They were accepted and normative of society. Slavery existed long
before people started using other cultures instead of the weak and poor of
their own. It doesn’t mean it is okay. But the fact that we believe slavery to
be rightfully wrong now, doesn’t re-write how it was or what happened. I would
love to believe that my family members have always been righteous, good people,
who weren’t afraid to buck a bad system, but it’s just not true.
I expect to find some black sheep, and
there probably are more than a few among the names I know already, but census
reports and land deeds don’t tell you about the quality of a man. I know that if
I were to discover, for example, that one of my wayward ancestors was a soldier
who carried out the massacre at Wounded Knee, I would be heartbroken. I would
feel as if some of that wrongness was part of me, in me.
That’s what makes free will so
important. Our days are filled with choices and actions we take that could lead
us along the light path or stray us towards the dark side of being human.
Sometimes people fail and their presence in our family tree serves to remind us
of that truth- sometimes people fall. And they encourage us to be the best
version of ourselves we can be, now and here.
That’s the line of thinking that
shapes my ancestor work. I believe that the early colonial settlers were wrong
to come over, treat an indigenous culture like they were inferior, and take
their land. Simply because my pilgrim ancestors believed they were appointed by
God to be here, an entire indigenous population was almost exterminated. In
this era, I would never agree with something like that. So what I take away
from that chapter of my family history is that I shouldn’t treat other people
like they’re beneath me or inferior to me just because they’re different. And I
shouldn’t take anything that doesn’t belong to me just because I want it.
I honor those ancestors who came
before me. But how do we accept these blemishes from the past and move forward?
I would hope that in this day, we
would all agree that slavery is bad. The first slaves white men used were other
white men who were poorer than them. And then when they started travelling and
discovered white men who looked different from them, they became preferred
resources for slaves. And then they found men with other skin colors and they
became a preferred resource. And so on. Our ancestors used to treat people as
less than them, just because their skin color or belief systems were different.
That’s a very simplistic view of all of that history, but if we can look back
on it and see those actions as faulty, as a wrongness that shaped Western
thinking, we need to bring more tolerance and understanding to our cohabitation
on this planet. That’s something we can do as individuals and as a people.
I don’t believe that we, personally,
should take on guilt for the choices our individual ancestors made. That would
be an exhaustive wave of guilt that would drown most of us out of living our
own lives. We’re supposed to be living to make this world a better place. So if
you have an ancestor who did a deed so horrible that it makes you feel ill
inside, do something for yourself to find closure with that act if that’s what
you need.
No one wants to know the blood of a
murderer flows in them. Maybe the knowing suddenly feels like a curse. If it does,
do something in your life for the world that feels like an appropriate
counter-curse. Think about it like relieving that specific spirit of their
burdens- whether that ancestor felt guilt over their own actions or not. Break
the blood spell and put that family baggage to rest. Do something to better the
planet as a means of learning from the mistakes of those who came before you.
The Bigger Picture
We can look at history and see
patterns of behavior repeating over and over again, with different groups of
people on the receiving end of discrimination and oppression, and in some cases
murder and genocide: anyone who wasn’t Roman, Jews, Native Americans, Africans,
Japanese-Americans, Jews again, Women, African-Americans, Interracial children,
Homosexuals, etc. We slowly move through the pattern of understanding that our
way of thinking is wrong. Slowly. I believe that by now we should be much more
tolerant of the fact that we all share this world together and trying to force
anyone to believe exactly what we believe is futile. Why do we need others to
believe what we believe in order to believe it ourselves? We have to stop using
what is different than us to define who we are not. Learn who you are, instead.
I can also
apply this pattern-weaving to my own family tree, watching the generations
follow their forefathers and then suddenly make a change, move a great
distance, switch vocations completely, or something that alters the static
course of my bloodline. I am Sarah, born of English Kings and Knights, born of
Norman Invaders and Viking warriors, whose own lines faded into merchants and
tailors, woolcombers and carpenters, who merged with Irish farmers and Polish woodsmen
to break ground in a new world. I am Sarah, born of English Kings, born of
indigenous men living in caves in France, whose lines blended with the English
and Dutch as refugees fled France, whose lines faded in the growth of a
Canadian country and merged with indigenous blood, whose lines later merged
with German and Irish immigrants, canal workers and day laborers, breaking
their bones to build a new world. All of them, trickling down through the
years, leading me here, in this space and time, sharing my work.
May
we break the cycles of dis-ease with our fellow men, and find a way to peace
and tolerance, that we may all work together to heal the earth that provides
for us, without which our lives would fade into nothing more than memory.